(the Embrunman story)
Today I sold my soul to the Devil. I would not name the Devil (for my own good) but the pact was about if I go home and write a handsome blog then he will forget me the last 3 hill reps….DEAL! (you do not wanna wait for the second offer of the Devil….)
I dedicate my little blog for my favorite vampires:
To Bella,
who does not stand the vampires, but she is a real KILLER. So they named the most famous female vamp in the history after HER… 
To James,
who was eagerly listening to my vamp stories all the way from Austria to Leysin only lost concentration when Jacob came into the story.
“But whoTF is this Jacob?!”
“Well, he is a werewolf….”
“Aha.”
“It is a vampire love triangle, you see?”
“I see…”
Anyway, James was the coolest vamp in the story, however he did not last long L
Three vampires were holding a pre race briefing a la Hungarian/Californian/South African English at the dinner table.
The French program and info booklet in the middle, the meeting went on.
1. page: “Previous winners”- bla-bla-bla, history, quick page turning…
2.page: “Bike course map”- Up and down, up and down, bla, bla….more then 5000 meters altitude difference….whatever….
3.page: “Race Schedule”- start time at 6 a.m. huhhh, that is early…
(the first time when I heard about the separate female start at 5:50 a.m., I was in the mobile toilet at 5:45….SHIT!)
4.page: “prize money” –here we are!!!
The Hungarian vamp started to cut out the chart with her fork and knife to later stick on her bike stern.
Our master always told: “Be prepared! In any race, there will be a point (or two) where certain questions will come up. (Something like: what TF am I doing here?) If you do not have the answer ready, it is too late, you lost!”
So we were preparing. For any devilish question we will have the answer ready: The Wrong vamp copied the prize list onto her race bracelet. She is a born optimistic, she started the list from the top. To make it sure. She stopped at the 5.place position, dreaming….2000 EUROS!!! (Loud sight)
James Tarzan is a visual type. He made pictures into his head.
“ 1.place –a house, in South- Africa (of course)
2.place- a car, an African JEEP? Maybe?
3.place- ??? 3 camels?
……..”
At dawn, 6 very cool vampires got out of the cars, slamming the doors. (since we are doing the tube sessions, my car- door suffering permanent damage by too strong arms.)
Still dark, but the air is already filled with the smell of excited, perfume-sweet French blood….
The reasons of excitement are US! (“They arrived, they are here!” –whisper everywhere.)
But today we were on business.
Only the vamps have TT bars and deep carbon race wheels on. We took it serious, the business.
At 5:50, I ran into the water panicky. Vamps can see in the darkness well, but I desperately threw myself on the feet of the first swimmer. I can not let the lighting boat pull away….well, you never knows what lying on the bottom of the dark lake, still sleepy and cranky….soon I dared to look back, the front swimmer and me pulled away from the group. Cool, we dropped Bella!
Don’t we?! The speed and the right arm of the swimmer was very suspect. I had a “déjà vu” J
Since when Bella has a 6 beats kick?! I never seen her without her pull boy….I mean not Steve but the other one, the yellow one….
Soon, I pulled next to Bella, offering her my help.
No, it was not about fair play or vamp camaraderie….I can not let Bella to take all the glory, the glory of leading the swimming! First she did not share it….In the second lap she accepted it, and I was swimming on the front like mad. Vamp or not, you do not wanna hold up Bella
First out of the water in Blue Seventy the two vamps! Leaving a five minutes gap behind…all the franchies were swimming in the dark J
I got all emotional. ME? First out of the water? Nobody will believe me….
On the first big climb the leader guys caught up. Bella hold a quick family meeting with Steve, I was discrete so I kept a distance but I guess every meeting is the same.
“STEVE,you did not forget it, do you? I love you honey! Me too!….etc”
The plan was for me going hard on the bike, freaking out everyone, then jogging the marathon.
I took the Wrongstar’s advise something like; “How to be an Asian/European/International triathlon Super Star # 1102? –Push yourself into the front and get a personal official leader motor biker who will clear up the way and pace you nicely while the national heroines go down in the plughole with a 40 minutes deficit.
While the French referee made photos about me with his mobile phone, I was wondering where the famous French nationalism disappeared ?!
They cut out their heart and they offered it on tray for a Hungarian vamp?!….I even got a helicopter on the biggest top. How cool is that would be, if I would be a guy, like Jonnyo, with technical interest?!
I only saw it was big and noisy and I was struggling to keep my stylish hairdo intact in the whirlwind and smile for the cameras while I was actually sweating blood…
Like every vamp, I am schizoid. Like vamps are yelling to their victims to run away, but in the same moment they are chasing them down- I was yelling the same way to the moto driver to pull away from me (Allez, allez, vite!) but in the same instant I was accelerating after it….The killer instinct. Blood is blood.
After 180 km arriving back into town I was happy and relived to get off my bike. IF…
Not clearly remembering the course map, I was cursing all the way up on an extra bonus 6 km climb….the Frenchies went all crazy: Here lay the national pride!
Finally they got me!
Off the bike I only went for surviving…..
Bella passed me soon enough, I only could follow her progress by the pale and drained guys lying on the side of the road…”Bella, Bella….do not be piggy! Leave something (someone) for me too….”
Wongstar was the smartest. She had on her back her special drink….so called berry mix….(rolling eyes) she was flying….
At Twilight, all 6 vamps settled down sipping catch-up as a camouflage, with French fries….not make it suspect.
We left with “greasy” pay checks. Wongstar was hypnotized and kept saying: “5.place-2000 Euros….” again and again…
Only James seemed a bit annoyed with pulling 3 naughty camels behind…..
