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Camp Goggles « James Cunnama’s Blog

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Camp Goggles

Okay, so all guys are aware of the effect alcohol has on their judgement when it comes to the girls around them. In fact it is common knowledge the world over. Beer makes girls look better. A phenomenon known as ‘beer goggles’.

anonymous-beer-helping-ugly-peopleAt camp, we do not regularly partake in beer however. Well, maybe one or two occasionally, but not enough to… lets say affect our vision. However, having been at multiple camps now, and witnessed first hand the phases the single guys go through as camp progresses, I feel it is time to address and give a name to a new phenomenon – Camp Goggles.

Now our camps are generally held far from the madding crowd, and for good reason. It is hard to focus on hard training when surrounded by all the distractions of modern life. And so we find ourselves secluded in remote places such as Subic Bay, Krabi or Leysin. And the effect this has on the single guys is interesting to watch.

Camps starts out as it always does – the sudden increase in volume, intensity and frequency of training sessions smashes the enthusiasm out of even the most energetic of social butterfly’s. But, a week or two of adjustment to the demands and a transformation begins.

It starts innocently enough – we’ll be riding along, or walking the mall and something will catch the boys eye. Comments will follow about how there are more pretty girls here than there were in (insert previous camp’s name here). Not long after, there will be talk of ‘doing something’ on our day off, and grand plans, which almost always amount to nothing, will be hatched of such things as Karaoke, bars, beaches and, of course, girls. This is where the ‘not single’ guys raise their eyebrows and think, ‘Sure, sure… all talk…’. But we encourage the boys in the hope of some great camp stories to be rehashed for years to come.

A week or two more of pretty-much zero social activity and things get more entertaining. This is when the first signs of camp goggles emerge. Now these are not like our blueseventy goggles. You can’t tell when a guy is wearing them just by looking at him. But if you watch carefully it’s obvious.

First, he will see a girl and turn and look at his mates with a, ’Yeah? She’s hot, right?’ questioning look on his face. No buddy. No.

Then, as it gets worse, he will stop questioning and start trusting his own judgement. This when he will simply state, with no question, that the girl in the shop was HOT! A good mate knows to simply smile and nod at this point.

Before: at the start of camp

Before: at the start of camp

Stage three is where a video camera should always be at the ready: He suddenly gets this excited-schoolboy look on his face and tears off on his bike after some pretty young lady on a scooter who just smiled at him! (Note: Everyone in Thailand smiles at you!) And when he comes slowly back to the group with a slightly ashamed and worried look on his face, you know he has a bad case of camp goggles as he explains that the pretty girl on the scooter was actually a middle-aged lady-boy!

There is no cure for camp goggles. You might think that waking up one morning with a lady-boy/prostitute/chew-off-arm-rather-than-wake-her-ugly-girl (or combination of the three) would be an instant cure. But I’ve seen it before, and sure enough he will be off after that tight-ass, smooth-haired lady-boy bearing scooter in the very next ride…

After: The same ladies a few weeks into camp

After: The same ladies a few weeks into camp

(Disclaimer: No actual person/s were portrayed in this story. It is purely for entertainment purposes and James Cunnama, teamTBB and its employee’s take no responsibility for any failed relationships as a result of this blog! ;) )

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