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idea for new reality TV show « Jocelyn Wong's Blog

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idea for new reality TV show

Back by popular demand, here are more photos from another crazy Filipino triathlon party–the post-race party for the White Rock Triathlon last weekend. AKA “one last hurrah before we start boot camp on Monday.” I’ve interspersed them with Step #6 of How to Become an Asian Triathlon Superstar: Pitch an awesome concept for a reality TV show. Featuring…yourself.

So here in our hotel rooms we get cable with all these awesome TV channels which is a complete luxury. Back home, I barely have time to watch any TV, never mind all these cooking shows, sitcoms, newscasts, SPORTS (there are at least 5 sports channels!), movies, documentaries, game shows, music videos and of course the dominance of reality TV shows. One of my favorite channels is MTV-Philippines, because they actually *gasp* play a ton of music videos, which are always mindlessly fun, and less than a quarter of them are the sappy love songs the locals adore. I do get rather irritated watching the stupid reality shows featuring rich kids like “My Super Sweet 16″ and “The Hills” and can’t help but think training camp here would be a much better concept for a TV show.

We could call it “teamTBB: Freshman Year.” See, training camp right now is a little different in that most of the veterans, i.e. the Ironman champions and Olympians–or the “varsity squad” as I like to think of them, aren’t here in Subic but either in Kona or training and racing somewhere else. So as exciting as it would be to have a TV show about them, don’t you think it would be more interesting to watch how the scrappy newbies on the team develop from trainwrecks of athletes into future champions? It would be a mixture of the following hits:

–Big Brother (Coach is always watching…)
–Real World (throw a bunch of strangers together in a training squad and watch personalities clash!)
–Dancing with the Stars (vigorous hours of daily training)
–American Idol (auditions for a coveted spot on the team)
–Survivor and the Amazing Race (training in foreign locales with exotic and questionable cuisine…like those duck embryos)
–The Apprentice (Coach is essentially our boss, and no one wants to get “fired” or rather, deemed “uncoachable”)
–Hell’s Kitchen (they are opening up that new bike shop kiosk right in our hotel)
–Newport Harbor, the Real Orange County (this is an MTV one that follows valley girls during their first year of college. Coach has already tagged me as a valley girl, even though I am from northern California, not southern! big difference Coach!!)

Most of us even all live in the same block of rooms at our hotel. As Jason said, he feels like he is in university again, staying in the dorm rooms. The only twist is that Coach is in the room right next door to mine, right between me and Caroline. ha! I do totally feel like a freshman though, there is a lot to learn and training camp here is seriously like going to Ironman School. Except we won’t call it that of course, because they will sue us for using the M-Dot. Racing is like taking the midterm and final exams, but for now there is a lot of homework–all the training we do.

Challenges include:
–making it through all the training sessions: the main challenge!
–eating enough on a limited budget, including cooking in your bathroom
–fending off local vendors who try to rip you off (especially my fair-skinned teammates; I am having fun yelling “stop trying to rip them off because they are white!!”
–fending off unsolicited suitors in the form of security guards, policemen, tricycle drivers, and gardeners, who seem to fancy foreign girls in spandex
–deciphering Aussie slang…and inappropriate jokes that go over your head
–taking the most showers in a single day
–keeping your room from smelling like a boy’s locker room
–carrying a grocery basket when your arms feel like they are going to fall off

The current cast includes:
–our infamous coach, who is not so intimidating when wearing his daughter’s pink Dora the Explorer hat.
–Caroline, our token African girl who is actually South African with French & German parents and really fun to go shopping with. Our favorite thing is going to the clothing stalls at the public market and asking if they have jeans that actually fit us. “what’s your biggest size? we can’t fit those! they’re too small!!”
–Keegan the Kiwi (below right), who does all his runs shirtless but was a bit too shy to dance around shirtless like all the Filipino boys do at triathlon parties (“is this normal?!” I yelled. “yes, girls are supposed to take their shirts off too!” was the reply. NICE TRY boys.)

wr_party

–Mat, our exhibititionist French-Canadian who has been known to dance around pantsless at said parties. Luckily the following photo was taken earlier on in the party:

wr-party3

–Jason our Malaysian bike mechanic who is “on loan” from the Singapore store, and will be here for a few months to help open up the new store:

wr-party5

–and then there’s me, your future Asian triathlon superstar, who is probably the scrappiest of the new recruits and therefore the most interesting, right? ;)
(and yes…in that first pic, that would be Bruce Lee on my halter top, none other than the original Asian superstar.)

There would also be special guest appearances from various local triathletes, members of the varsity squad, and even local celebrities, like Gabby Concepcion, to boost ratings with the Filipinos. :)

When I was a freshman in college, “Jungle Juice” was what they called the questionable alcoholic concoctions that were stirred up in huge vats that were actually…big plastic garbage cans. I was amused to no end seeing this on the shelf at the grocery store. marketed to kids!

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anyway, camp has officially begun and the experience so far is actually like an episode of MTV’s MADE. Make me into a triathlon superstar!

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