As the last one left in the green house, I’ve got a few more days by myself before I move over to the now pink house with the boys, Scottie and Dumpstar.
So am I lonely here without the roommates? Everyone keeps asking. Well hmm, now I can blast MTV really loud all day and dance around whilst scantily clad, instead of cringing every time the Bean turns on her favorite TV show, Air Crash Investigation on National Geographic (or was it Discovery Channel? same difference), or stay quiet at night because Angela’s gone to bed early again.
In fact I get to play my new favorite song on REPEAT:
Aw Yeah it’s the original American Idol! You know you love her too! Reminiscent of “Since U Been Gone” but it took me a whole few weeks to discover it on MTV. Because we always had @#$!& Air Crash Investigation on. Typical green house conversation:
“AUGH! Bean, how can watch this?! They’re all gonna die!”
“Oh, Wongstar. Nobody ever dies on this show. See, everyone survived even though:
episode A: “the top half of the airplane flies off exposing all the passengers”
episode B: “the helicopter got struck by lightning and the carbon fiber propellor is only hanging by a thread”
aha! then there was episode C:
“OMG Bean THEY CRASHED AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THE AIRPLANE DIED. I can’t watch this!!”
“Oh, but Wongstar, you should’ve seen the pilot. He was soooooo brave!”
I don’t understand how a world traveling pro triathlete who frequently flies on airplanes, both big and small, can be so fascinated with this TV show. It’s unsettling.
I can even fend for myself now that Bean the heroic cockroach catcher has left. Although it is rumored that I do humanitarian deeds here and there, cockroaches aren’t human so I bravely caught the nasty bugger and flushed it down the toilet a couple mornings ago. But that’s not necessarily evil of me; if you watched Finding Nemo, they spent the whole movie wishing to be flushed down the toilet.
And those dang roommates, left me with all their crap they didn’t want. What am I supposed to do with Angela’s frozen vegetables that she used as ice packs? Are they still edible??
And the COMPLETELY evil Bean left an entire jar of Nutella, which is the one item that Coach has specifically put on Wongstar’s List of Banned Substances. (Well that and Starbucks Belgian waffles. @#$!& barista, did I ask for whipped cream? NOOO.) Every time I go into the kitchen, that jar of Nutella calls my name, taunting me. But I’ve been a good little Wongstar, I just give it the middle finger and curse the Bean. Who wants some Nutella? It will not get eaten in the green house as I have SELF-DISCIPLINE. Hear that, Coach??
But seriously it is not as fun any more now that they have left. It’s just not the same when there is no one to scream with when we see the big mama cockroach prowling the kitchen or in YOUR BEDROOM, and nobody to laugh at you when you break something yet again. (Although I’m proud to say the breaking only happened the first two weeks, I must be getting fitter and less tired from this training!)
And nobody to laugh at the hilariously cheesy Filipino commercials…like the “Why Men Love Whisper” ad campaign …Whisper being a…wait for it…. a friggin’ maxi pad company. OMG Bean I FOUND THE MUSIC VIDEO ADVERTISEMENT ON YOUTUBE….!!!
yes, why DO men love Whisper??!! Obviously so that when your girlfriend is on her period, she can still rock the tight white pants and sit on your shoulders at a concert.
There’s also nobody to make fun of you when monkeys come in and steal your mangos. Or rather, nobody to debate on whether monkeys are cute, evil, or clever. (#@!@#$!! monkeys.) I especially miss swimming with Angela in the slow lane (actually all my lanemates are gone, and now I am both the captain and caboose of the slow lane), we really pushed each other…neither of us wanted to be the slowest swimmer! HAHA!
There is nobody to rescue from nightmares. One time the Bean screamed “HELP!!” in her sleep in the middle of the night and was confused as what I was doing in her room when I went to check on her. This must have been subconscious revenge for when I accidentally locked her out one night and she had to knock on my bedroom window after I had fallen asleep.
Nobody to watch America’s Best Dance Crew with and boo the skanky girls and secretly wish you could dance like that.
No vegetarians to ask their expert opinion on why they think the beef you cooked is chewy: is it the quality of the meat, the way I cooked it, or the stove’s fault?
Nobody to tell you when you come home with bird poop on the back of your shirt.
Nobody to tell you that your arms look skinnier, but reassure you that “No, Wongstar, it’s really hard to tell that your boobs are smaller when there wasn’t much there to begin with.”
Nobody to help keep the house clean…or enforce the no dirty dishes in the sink rule.
We learned a lot from each other: I taught Bean how to cut mangoes and was so proud until she used a butcher knife one time and also cut her finger. @_@
Bean taught Angela how to patch the many tire tubes that went flat, although I’m not sure how successful that was either.
We also learned to lean on each other when training got tough, when one of us had a bad day (or all three of us?) or got “shat on” by Coach… we were able to turn to each other and offer encouragement. And when we were all too tired to even talk or move, we would know in our common silence exactly what we were going through together. There is something special about being bonded together in our common goal to become the best athletes we could be. The best part was cheering each other on when one of us had an especially good day…and keep each other feeling “super chuffed” as the Bean would say.
Even the green house’s mascot, Funshine Bear, misses his friend and fellow mascot Obama, as the new US president decided he wanted to go to Africa with the Bean.
So to my two former roommates Angela and Bean, I miss you both and am glad to hear you got home safely! I dedicate to you two, and heck, to all my squadmates… “My life would suck without you!”