On the free online dating website I am using (I refuse to pay for such services), there is a section in my dating profile with the prompt “On a typical Friday night I am…”
I left that part blank.
If I were truthful, it would say “smashed from training, emailing Coach a training update, and trying to write a blog about how fascinating and glamorous my life is.” If I were extra truthful, it would also say “oh, it’s Friday night? Because that describes every night and I often lose track of what day it is.”
For some reason, Wongstar fans seem particularly fascinating with the dating life of a single pro triathlete girl. Anything to do with a date or terrible pick-up line mentioned in a Facebook status update seems to go viral immediately. So I figure why not indulge you guys on what it’s like for someone with my strange lifestyle to go boyfriend hunting.
The travel sponsor is concerned that going on dates means I am not focused enough on my training and racing. Well, at the moment I am the most focused on my triathlon career that I have ever been in my life. Honest. I don’t see the two as mutually exclusive. I think Coach would approve of my quest for true love too–he knows a happy Wongstar is a fast and healthy Wongstar. After all, most of my teammates are in very solid relationships: married, engaged, or practically engaged. Chrissie Wellington herself found the time to land herself a nice boyfriend and she seems to be doing all right, breaking world records and stuff.
It seems that those on the team fall into two categories…those married to or dating other pro triathletes (typically also on the team) and those married to or dating other (tri)athletes, or at least, someone in the triathlon or cycling industry. Of course, most of them were already in established relationships prior to being on teamTBB with the craziness of traveling the world and living out of a suitcase.
Hmmm. So I tried some of that. Dating another pro triathlete and dating age group triathletes. It is really hard to date another pro triathlete who is not on the team as they are usually training and racing somewhere else in the world (and I am not about to date one of my guy teammates; they are like my brothers, ew). Plus these non-teamTBB pro guys usually have very different training philosophies and the last thing you want is for someone to put any doubt in your mind about listening to your own coach.
Age group guys then. Oh yes, we’ll have lots in common and we can train together. I have since learned to be wary of any guy who professes to be your #1 fan in order to date you. Totally skeezy (no offense to my fans out there, just be forewarned that I won’t date you) and he only wants to go out with a pro chick so he can brag to all his triathlete friends that he did, get his hands on your free schwag, and learn all your training secrets so he can get faster. Also the ego thing. Initially he’ll think it’s hot that you can chick him, but soon enough he’ll get all resentful and feel you are threatening his manhood.
So, then I thought, how about a non-triathlete? How do I meet these guys? Aha…online dating. I don’t have time to go to bars and meet guys the normal way. Whatever the normal way is. Someone please enlighten me? You may recall I did a dating splurge back in January before deactivating my account. I reactivated it in Spokane because I am such a nerd and wanted to find a date to the Star Wars Concert (success!), and then realized that if I don’t actively pursue true love, it certainly won’t come find me. So I pressed the “restart” button on the quest. Here are things I’ve learned:
- If it weren’t for the internet, I’d have no game.
- It is extremely easy to get a date.
- It is extremely easy to go on many bad dates.
- It is much harder to go on a great date.
- My screening process has been very highly refined since I was just an online dating newbie in January. The more selective and picky you are, the higher the success rate of a date. I try to reassure myself that I am not being a total bitch when I ignore 97% of the messages I receive from the unsuitable suitors, I am just saving everybody (especially myself) from wasting precious time.
- The closer you are to a big city, the better the selection.
- I prefer not to tell a guy what my actual occupation is until he gets to know me a little first. I want him to like me for the person I am, not what I do for a living. And, um, really hope it doesn’t scare him away.
- I am a total grammar snob. I just can’t date a guy who doesn’t know how to use an apostrophe correctly.
- If a guy also rides bikes and finds out I do, and asks me to go on a bike ride…as our first meet-up…I find that a complete cop-out. I would much rather get pretty and go out on a proper date than get gross and sweaty and do something I already do every day. My homestay hosts find this interesting, and believe I feel that way because it’s my job. But I’d done the “bike date” thing back in college and grad school and I still thought it was a cop-out back then.
- I don’t expect a guy to launch himself into a long-distance relationship with me after dating me only a few times before I have to pack my bags for the next destination. If he says he will, he is totally lying and will dump my foolish ass right after kissing me good-bye at the airport. That probably sounds bitter, but I’m much more realistic and wiser than I used to be.
Through it all, it is still in my nature to be optimistic and I continue to hold onto the hope that someday I will find that special someone who will think I am worth the trouble. Because trouble I am.
Oh and for the record, just because I’ve had bad experiences dating triathlete boys does not mean I have ruled you guys out completely. Clearly I have just not met the right one yet, and I challenge you to be the exception! In fact, I think I will brainstorm up a “Win a Date with the Wongstar” contest in the next few weeks…