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breaking the news on the first date « Jocelyn Wong's Blog

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breaking the news on the first date

In this edition of “Wongstar stays in on Friday night to do laundry, blog, and go to bed early cuz she’s AWESOME” I believe it’s time for an update on dating shenanigans. Or lack thereof actually.

I think I need to rethink my strategy in the incredible game of boyfriend hunting. So turns out there’s a downside to being the most popular triathlon superstar in the world. If you think I am exaggerating, please humor me. Google “triathlon superstar” and see who gets the top 4 hits and 70% of the results on the first page. The only other athlete who makes top 10 would be…Chrissie Wellington, at the bottom of the page, hit number 10. :D

Anyway, yes, there is actually a downside to all the fame and riches. If I tell a guy I am a pro triathlete before we meet, in this day and age of Google-stalking, I am so Google-able (“Jocelyn pro triathlete” or if I don’t tell them my real name but I usually do, “Asian pro triathlete” will do it) that he is bound to find out all about me before our first date whereas I might not know much about him at all. Which I’m not sure is really fair.

(Oh hey, hi potential online suitor, congratulations, you’ve found my blog. Now stop reading if you know what’s good for you. Or read at your own risk and decide if you are still man enough to ask me out.)

So in my past few first dates, I haven’t told the guy what my actual job is until we met in person, because I didn’t want him to Google me and have preconceived notions about me. The degrees to which this has been successful are questionable. It takes a certain kind of guy not to be intimidated by a woman who is an athlete at the elite level–and I am sure even my female amateur counterparts have this dilemma too. Some guys just can’t handle a girl who may threaten their masculinity. If you want to know the story behind why I am a height snob, this dates back to my first boyfriend in high school, who was maybe an inch taller than me and weighed 20 pounds less than I did. He once told me I threatened his masculinity. Comments like that scar people. Now he ruined it for all the wonderful–but short–guys under six feet tall.

As a side note, I have come to realize that I would probably do best with a guy who also partakes in regular exercise…and spending 2 hours a week “in the gym” doesn’t really count. Or anyone who refers to exercising as “cardio.” Grilled Cheesus, maybe I am a height snob, grammar snob, AND exercise snob. …Too bad!

Anyway, most guys are taken aback when I break the news. I’m used to it by now. But maybe it’s not fair to spring it on them on the first date. Maybe that’s why they say they’ll call me and then don’t. And it sure is awkward when he finds out and then Googles you on his iphone. Right there and then. And skims through your blog right in front of you. Damn you, technology!

So screw it. I’ve decided to just drop the bomb before we meet, and if he Googles me and is reading this right now: try not to take everything I write so seriously. I am way cooler in person and not so scary, really. :) This will just be another of the many steps in the filtering process; even if it means less first dates at least I’ll have quality over quantity. ;)

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