5th woman across the line at the Toughest Show on Earth

The “Toughest Show On Earth”–that’s what was written on all the banners and race materials for Ironman Malaysia.  Crossing the line as 5th woman at an M-Dot Ironman is something that I had never fathomed when I watched my first Ironman as a volunteer and spectator almost 10 years ago.  My 18-year-old self just wondered if she could finish one.  Before midnight. I was mostly worried about making the 2hr 20min swim cut-off.

Even a year ago, I’m not sure I imagined I could do this well. And leading up to this race, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Not to say that I have no goals or expectations…it is just very different to hope and dream and wish certain things and then to have them actually happen in real life. Or maybe it’s more that I have been told to be very patient, so I thought I would have to wait a little bit longer. Either way, Coach says this is part of why I do well. Apparently my expectations (or lack thereof) keep me from getting a big head and blowing up from overconfidence. But I am getting ahead of myself.

The swim was an out-and-back straight line into the salty sea. Swim out 1900m and then turn around and come back. I was fighting in the pack the first 15 seconds and then found myself with Miranda Aldritt, just the two of us together. We smacked each other at first and then she went ahead and I stayed on her feet, though she slowly crept ahead. I’ve been working on yet another new swim technique but Coach said to just “swim hard” however which way I wanted. When we got to the turnaround, I looked at my watch for the first time and yuck…46 minutes!!!! Oh sweet baby Jesus. No way am I finishing the swim in over 90minutes! Newly inspired (or rather, horrified at myself), I swam as hard as I could all the way back. Apparently there was a current against us going out, as my second half only took 32 minutes. Swimming 3.8km on your own is much harder than in the giant washing machine of age groupers–heading back the water suddenly became more turbulent from the masses of amateurs swimming the other way; I really thought there were extra boats out there or something. Swimming in the Krabi pool with no lane lines proved to be good practice for open water swimming.

Dear God, if I can't have world peace, how about a little bit of swimming ability? Just a little?

I jumped out of the water as last place female pro, slightly less horrified that my watch said 1:18 and not 1:28 or worse. I launched straight into the “Damage Control” game, also known as the Denial Game, where you tell yourself everyone must have swam slow today. By like 10 minutes. Thus you don’t get freaked out or panicked or depressed and ruin the rest of your race. I am getting really good at this game.

hustle!!! 23mins down!

I got on White Tiger and stuck to Coach’s race plan for me: swim as hard as you can, hold back on the bike by 15-20 minutes, and then run them all down. Race smart and beat the people who you weren’t meant to beat. Patience, patience. I focused on getting the nutrition down–Gatorade at the aid stations and Hello Panda cookies in my bento box. The bike course was hillier than I expected, and some of the road surface wasn’t very smooth or fast. I just rode solid, holding my pace steady and increasing the effort as the ride went on, but never going balls-out, and passed the first pro woman around the 3-hour mark.

the coolest bike pic in the world, as mentioned before.

Then something weird happened. Towards the end of that third hour, I passed 3 more pro women, all in a row. Maybe everyone really did swim bad. Maybe they were already blowing up from the heat? It wasn’t too hot, if you were biking fast enough it was almost breezy… Strangely enough our national anthem, the Star Spangled Banner, started playing in my head…I think because Coach had always said that at hot races, those who went out too hard would start to detonate. But if I paced myself well, I would be bomb-proof. “The rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof to the night…that our flag was still there…” I think subconsciously I was bitter that I missed most of the Winter Olympics.

The fourth and last lap of the bike, that last hour, the aid stations ran out of EVERYTHING. No Gatorade, no water. I forced myself to keep eating my Hello Panda cookies…you need this nutrition, eat it!! And 2 or 3 aid stations later finally got a small bottle of water to wash it down my dry throat. Everyone else was in the same situation, I figured I would rehydrate on the run…Camelbak time! I rolled over the timing mat with a 5:20 bike split, hey not too bad for holding back 15-20mins eh? It ended up being the 3rd fastest bike split too, rockin’!

grunting my way up the big hill with Maki yelling "SUGOI!!!"

Got into transition and asked the volunteers in the change tent how many women had come through. “only 5. you are number 6!” NO FREAKING WAY.

The run was 5 laps, about 8km out-and-back each. Now as much as I like to perpetuate the urban legend that the Wongstar does not feel heat, I could tell it was hot. Someone later said 39*C, someone else said 41*C (that’s 102 to 106*F), but I wasn’t worried. I was thrilled. In a very twisted way, I find that racing in the heat is much easier than training in the heat–there are aid stations every kilometer giving out cold drinks, ice, and cold wet sponges. When do you get that in training? Umm, how about NEVER.

I had my two Camelbaks ready (one in T2, one at Special Needs) and would take in 1.5 liters of Gatorade the first 2 laps and then 2 liters of thawing frozen coffee the last 3 laps. I had even debated on filling them up all the way but was glad I did, I actually finished everything I carried and needed extra Coke at the aid stations when the Camelbaks went empty.

So how did I feel? I FELT AMAZING. I am not going to lie and you can hate me all you want, but I will be honest: I felt ridiculously good, crazy strong, and just SUPER.  Photographic proof of how I felt:

World peace! SUPER!!! Lap #3

I would run through the aid stations and grab a couple cold sponges at each one, squeezing them over my head, sipped on my Camelbak and plodded along, nothing spectacularly fast. Just holding about 5-minute k pace (about 8-minute miles). 3:30 marathon pace. Which I guess is somewhat fast in hot conditions?

I was confused at who was leading the women’s race…I thought it was Edith, who was right behind me–I’d see her behind me at every turnaround and apparently I wasn’t going much slower than her as she didn’t catch me and lap me until my 4th lap. And then I saw Belinda out there, with Hillary behind her, which confused me because I was thinking that Edith was winning, Belinda was in 2nd, and Hillary was catching Belinda. (Turns out it was Belinda winning, she had lapped Hillary who was in 3rd, and Edith was running 2nd.)

ok, maybe feeling less super but still very strong! Lap #4

So I was 6th woman and just held steady. Heading out on the run loop seemed warmer, and then coming back there was a bit of a breeze–so I enjoyed coming back more, plus it meant going back towards all the cheering spectators. One Asian spectator was wearing an American flag T-shirt and yelled “Japanese!” to me as I went by the first lap. “NO, American!!” I yelled back. From then on, he and his friends would chant “USA!” for me every time I ran by.

There were also many people I had met through training and racing around the world that cheered for me, both on the race course and on the sidelines. The support was overwhelming, lots of cheers for both Wongstar and Jocelyn…even the Korean athletes who I had competed with in Jeju or GreatMan would yell “hwai-ting!” as I passed them. The Asian female spectators were especially enthusiastic and I was hoping maybe they’d catch a little bit of inspiration seeing an Asian girl at the front of a race…I do my best to represent!

up and over the overpass--the one "hill" on the course. Lap #4

I had this song in my head…the DJ Tiesto version of Maroon 5’s “Not Falling Apart.” Coach has taught me to develop a bomb-proof marathon shuffle, so that’s what kept going through my mind, “…I’m not falling apart…” Turns out my 3:37 marathon was 3rd fastest among the pro women–only 6mins slower than champion Belinda and within 11mins of Edith’s run split (the fastest for the day)…huh…since when does that happen? Brilliant race plan, Coach, and good execution by the Wongstar!

When I switched out the Camelbaks after 2 run laps, I was super happy that freezing the coffee had worked amazingly. I too, was still feeling amazing and not really affected by the heat much until the 4th lap–that’s when I started filling my sports bra with ice. I think the humidity actually picked up, rather than the temperature.

heel-striking, Coach would be proud! Lap #1, yes I went out of order.

Somewhere along the way I had slipped into 5th position, and I was starting to run down 4th and 3rd…but ran out of time and distance.  By Lap 5 I really just wanted to be DONE! I was feeling decidedly less SUPER. Finally went by our hotel one last time, but then there was another 2km to the finish line back at the jetty, and it was THE. LONGEST. TWO. KILOMETERS. EVER.

I did the winner's pose. I felt like a winner.

And finally, there it was. I was so happy, I felt so strong the whole day–if I had to choose just one word to describe how I felt for the race, that would be it. STRONG. (I thought this during the race too.) Ok, maybe not in the swim but the other 90% of my day… I am still amazed I only ran 10mins slower than my best Ironman marathon, and in much tougher conditions… STRONG!!!

I’d like to thank all the sponsors that helped get me to where I am today. From just wanting to finish an Ironman before midnight to somehow finishing as 5th pro woman and actually feeling STRONG the whole day:

• TeamTBB & the Bike Boutique: thank you to my teammates who inspire me and push me every day, Alex our team manager for this fantastic opportunity, and Brett for showing me the way and demanding more of me than I thought possible. You asked me nearly 3 years ago if I was ready for my life to change; everything I’ve achieved these past months has already been more than I ever thought possible and we can still say “this is only the beginning.” Thank you so much for everything!! I really am living the age group triathlon fairy tale
• All our equipment sponsors: Cervelo, Avia, BlueSeventy, 3T, Scody & ISM Saddles for the gear that helps me go faster. I still scratch my head and think “really? we get new stuff every year?” But I’m not complaining!
• My travel sponsor, Mark Cathcart, for help funding the travel expenses. You’ve known me since I was a delusional age grouper with dreams of becoming a triathlon superstar. Thanks for always believing in me and fueling these dreams!
• My newest sponsor, Haamonii Smooth Shochu, for the post-race celebratory beverages. Thanks for your support and the good times had and to be had in sharing harmony around the world!

Photos courtesy of ASI Photo, Maki Nishiuchi, Pee Kay Pixz, Makoy Almanzor–thanks!!

When you are an aspiring international triathlon superstar, you make all kinds of friends around the world, especially those with fancy cameras.

The one above is courtesy of PK, a working freelance photographer and owner of Pee Kay Pixz.  He is currently uploading last weekend’s photos to his online portfolio, the album is at http://PeeKayPixz.zenfolio.com/imlangkawi2010 and he will also be adding some team photos over the next few days to our own team album at http://peekaypixz.zenfolio.com/teamtbb.

Thanks for the awesome pic PK, and for beautifully capturing White Tiger’s debut at Ironman Malaysia!  LOVE IT!  :D  will include it in my race report coming up next!

Who cares about the race, how about the awards and the after party? Mom & Dad want to see that sweet trophy I won!

Just a short procrastination on the race report…which I will do soon too because I need to cram in Mandarin Chinese lessons REALLY QUICK as I’ve been invited to the press conference at Ironman China! *squeal*

So this was my very first awards ceremony at a WTC Ironman event where I got called up on stage as a pro!

Here I am! I have arrived!

I was actually the very first athlete to be called up! They only announced the top 5 pro men & women and the women got up there first, even before the amateurs…

CHEESE! I think I am the happiest!

It was a little surreal actually, standing right next to former teamTBB alumnae girls Belinda & Hillary who had taken 1st and 3rd. Years ago as an age grouper I had really looked up to them and wow, things have certainly changed.

raise your crystal trophies up and yell HUZZAH!

I couldn’t help thinking of the awards ceremony at my first Ironman 8 years ago, when I sat with my mom looking at the faster athletes getting called up on stage. I told her I wanted to be up on that stage one day. She had said “Of course you will some day” but moms are supposed to say things like that. And I didn’t actually mean up on stage for the pro category, I would’ve been quite happy with getting top 5 in my age group! I’ve never even won my age group in an Ironman!

Belinda making her speech. I took some mental notes.

The boys were next:

HUZZAH!

Hiro and his big paycheck! He was like team captain for the weekend.

money money money!

Sometimes the awards ceremony is a bit of a drag, but not when you have Haamonii Smooth Shochu as your liquor sponsor!

how to enjoy the awards ceremony: sharing harmony

The Japanese know how to party:

Maki says her dad drinks shochu every night!

Emma won her age group AND her first ticket to Kona! This is why she is also the perfect wing-girl to go trolling for boys with:

did she find a stud muffin? did she??

Speaking of boys, the whole point of racing Ironman on the pro circuit is to meet the hot (and tall) foreign ones. No more silly age groupers for me. Here is my 5th place male counterpart, Andreas:

5th place is a good start

He didn’t make the money cut-off either. Thus, we would soon make good use of our very practical trophies.

all done! best awards presentation ever!

When all was said and done and all award winners announced (and the bottle of Haamonii shared around the table), the ceremony ended with a bang. Hiro and Maki said that this is what my prize money was spent on:

good-bye prize money!

It was then on to more celebrating…so what was it I said about our trophies being practical? I was told that they were made of local Langkawi crystal.

both beautiful and functional

This is my new Slovakian friend Marek with his pretty nails, the only pro I outswam. He said I came by like a shark. Funny how speed is all relative

prettiest fingernails of all the pros

The new trophies and new friends helped ease the bitterness of not winning any money this weekend!

no prize money, someone else buy the drinks!

Disclaimer: the Wongstar encourages responsible drinking. Please don’t drink and drive. However, if you are a nerdy guy trying to impress a nerdy girl, by all means attempt to drink and derive.

I sure could use $1,900 right now.

For good measure, I am also shaking my fists…

to the people who say I shouldn’t get paid for swimming a 1:18 anyway…

…and here are a couple of middle fingers…

…for the people who actually think I am content to be a bad swimmer and not doing anything about it.

Other than that, I am really quite pleased with my 5th place this weekend. It was intended to be a solid training day (that I was hoping to get paid for) to prepare for Ironman China. Mission accomplished, great training day, my first top 5 result in the pro field at an M-dot race and a reminder of what it’s like to do an Ironman in hot & humid conditions. Race report and race photos to come soon.

Thanks for all your support!

yes, we are very important and famous.

So here we are in Langkawi, it’s the night before the race and what better way to relax than a pre-race blog?

Today for the first time, I got to sit behind the table at the press conference with my cool teammates Hiro & Beck, along with some of our competitors like the defending champs Belinda G and Luke McKenzie.  Here’s how it looks like from the other side of the table:

I tried not to be too obvious taking photos of them taking photos of me ;)

I even got asked the first two questions… about doing the Asian Ironman “double” since I am doing Ironman China in two weeks.  And then about my other job, doing prosthetics!  Very cool.

Like Hiro said about the heat: it’s hot here in Malaysia, but actually not as hot as it’s been at training camp in Thailand. White Tiger is feeling smooth, the Wongstar is feeling pretty solid herself!  Looking forward to a really smart, hard day of training-slash-racing.

right outside our host hotel

It’s also really nice to have the teamTBB flag flying out here.  The Bike Boutique is the official bike course sponsor!

White Tiger and his buddy Black Panther

I’m rooming with Beck at the Langkawi Seaview Hotel, which is the host hotel. Super convenient and right on the run course. The expo, registration, pre-race meetings and press conference were all here. Beck has named her P4 Black Panther and she is buddies with my White Tiger.  :)

Best of all, the kitchen downstairs let me throw Camelbak #2 in their freezer tonight so that I can have iced coffee during the second half of the marathon!

Time for a sleep, you can track us online tomorrow on ironman.com. The race starts at 7:30am Malaysian time for us professionals (it actually goes from 7:45am until 12:45am for the age groupers). That’s 3:30pm on Friday, California time for my family at home.  See ya on the internet

I’m proud to announce that I’ve joined forces with Haamonii Smooth Shochu this year and will help market their beverage around the world, wherever I am training and racing! Shochu is an ancient Japanese distilled spirit like vodka but with much fewer calories. (The Koreans call it soju.) Haamonii is a mere 35 calories per 2-ounce shot (versus 120 calories for vodka), all natural, and extremely smooth.

We realized this had huge marketing potential for athletes, and well, actually anybody who is weight conscious… perhaps 99% of the population, no? Because Haamonii is so smooth, it’s not supposed to cause hangovers or headaches, so you are able to enjoy some Haamonii at night and still get your training in the next morning! Another health benefit is that shochu has been shown to activate enzymes that help dissolve blood clots–similar to red wine.

cheers to Haamonii mojitos!

Haamonii means “harmony” in Japanese, and the company mottos are to “share harmony” and “pour for others and not self.” I really like this message and find it very in line with my own beliefs–after all, the Wongstar stands for world peace, love, and harmony! I got a chance to taste a Haamonii cocktail myself before approaching founder James Key Lim about sponsorship. It was really tasty and super smooth–I couldn’t actually taste the alcohol in it like with vodka cocktails. Potentially dangerous in a very good way! Haamonii has actually won 7 medals in various taste competitions, including an international gold medal from the Beverage Testing Institute.

The press release is on the Haamonii website: Haamonii Shochu Sponsors First and Only Asian-American Female Professional Ironman Triathlete.

I’ll be taking some Haamonii on the road with me, beginning with this weekend’s race in Langkawi, Malaysia!  This season, I will always have some bottles of shochu on hand to “share harmony” with my friends and fellow competitors at post-race after parties.

bib #31 looking forward to post-race libations!

Before I left home for training camp in Thailand, I was able to share Haamonii with friends (and test the no-hangover claim) at a good-bye party. Being a clever minx who likes terribly bad puns, it was called the “Tie Good-Bye”…obviously because I was being sent off to “Tie-Land”. We all had to wear ties. ahahahahahaha.  And no, I really did not have a hangover

corset by clothing sponsor D&G (via the sister), tie by Target lil boys' section

Haamonii Shochu–coming soon to a post-race party near you!

To try it yourself, check out the Haamonii website and click on “where to buy” to see where you can get your own in the meantime.  Enjoy and remember to pour for others!

Happy Year of the Tiger!!

For the first time in my life, I got to celebrate Chinese New Year in Asia. Sure it’s a big deal at home as a Chinese-American, but nothing like in Singapore. I remember as a kid we would wake up CNY morning and there would be the red banners with gold Chinese characters hung about the house…we ate big feasts with the family and got hung bao’s (the red envelopes with money inside) and special candy. The house got cleaned up really nice right before Chinese New Year, but never on the first day or first week, otherwise all your good luck gets washed/swept/vacuumed away.

Some parents pulled their kids out of school during Chinese New Year, but my brand of superstar parents would NEVER let us miss school for any reason. It was perfect attendance or bust–ok there was that one year we had the big earthquake in 1989; that was the ONLY time I remember ever missing school, but I digress.

But in America, Chinese New Year never seemed to be a bigger deal than Christmas. It was kind of like Christmas but with Chinese food. Ok, more Chinese food, since we have Chinese food at Christmas too.

So I got to be in Singapore during the CNY madness. Lots of decorations everywhere!  Me and Beck got some photos by the temple next to the Bike Boutique on our first day:

this is the tiger with money

and this is the tiger with...food. hehe!

Then I went off to the Philippines and came back for the first day of the Year of the Tiger. My favorite Singaporean couple, Li Ying and Bernard, took me out for a CNY breakfast…

if all the Chinese joints were closed, we were gonna have Indian food for breakfast...

but no, I insisted we must have Chinese for Chinese New Year!

They were actually worried that there would be no place open on the first day of CNY. And it was true…nearly all businesses shut down for the first five days of the new year! I was told that people get Monday through Wednesday off work!

see, they have to advertise they are actually open

You are supposed to wear new clothes on Chinese New Year, so I wore the only new thing I had…a dress from when we to the beach in Thailand.

try not to stare at the sexy forehead tanlines from my swim cap!

It was actually nearly impossible to hail a taxi cab the whole time we were in Singapore…that’s how crazy busy it was due to the holiday. Beck was actually convinced we were going to miss our flight back to training camp because we couldn’t get a cab to the airport!

Anyway, one of my more recent CNY traditions has been to check out what the new year’s horoscope forecasts.  There are Chinese 12 zodiac animals based on your birth year and I’m a Rooster.  You can look up your own on websites like www.tarot.com and www.chinesezodiachoroscope.com. The funny part for me now is that when there are predictions about my “work” and “career” and “boss”–well, that would be about triathlon and the Coach!

Here are some predictions for a Rooster girl like me:

“Work could be a source of strain for you during the Chinese Year of the Tiger. You may be forced to adapt to new procedures and schedules that don’t suit you. Unfortunately, your boss won’t be responsive to your complaints. If you keep harping about the new routine, you could find yourself on the unemployment line. In this economy, it’s best to keep your head down and your mouth shut.”

Translation: no complaining to Coach about the workouts or new swim technique

“Work will be more demanding than usual, forcing you to assume new duties that may feel distasteful. …If you play your cards right, you’ll get both a raise and a promotion by the end of 2010.”

Translation: even more demanding training….but also…more prize money???!!!

“Love can flourish for Roosters in the Chinese Year of the Tiger. However, you need to cultivate a little tact if a new relationship is going to get off the ground. Compromise is essential in the Year of the Tiger. If you learn to keep your mouth shut whenever a love interest annoys you, a strong alliance will ensue. You’ll even start to think of your partner’s quirks as charming, rather than irritating. It’s just a matter of diverting your thoughts whenever they become critical.”

Keep my mouth shut whenever a love interest annoys me? Sh*t, no wonder I’m still single.

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone in the world!  :)

I try not to brag too much about being the luckiest girl in the world, but sometimes I can’t help it.  Last week I realized that I am, indeed, living the dream!  Growing up in the late 80’s, my favorite childhood movie of all time was The Chipmunk Adventure.  I watched our ratty VHS copy of it with my siblings and cousins so many times that we had all the words and song lyrics memorized.  A year ago I actually found it on DVD and was ecstatic.  :D

In the movie, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore race against the Chippettes (Brittany, Eleanor, and Jeannette), going around the world in hot air balloons and stopping at various countries along the way.  My sister was always Brittany, the oldest bossy one, and I was Eleanor, the short fat one with pigtails.  (I am no longer the short fat one in real life though, bwahaha.)  I didn’t even get to start going around the world until these last two years that I’ve been traveling with the team and last weekend I got to fulfill the hot air balloon part of the childhood dream.

Ok, so you thought I was in the Philippines to present at a medical conference.  Nah, I was really there for the hot air balloons.  ;)  The PARM conference was held in Clark and for the first time coincided with the 15th Annual International Hot Air Balloon Festival.  (The theme of the PARM conference was actually “Soaring Hot, Flying High!”)

hello giant turtle balloon! and flying beer in the background!

This giant balloon looked just like the giant smile on my face the whole morning:

This would be our balloon!

Gotta get the camera ready…

Ready for adventure!

UP, UP, AND AWAY!!!

Wheeeee we have left the ground!

Spewer of hot air:

The giant sunshine smile:

Our shadow from the view of the balloon basket:

Of course the whole time, I had one of the Chipmunk Adventure songs stuck in my head…thank you YouTube…

And of course, no Wongstar adventure is complete without chatting up some hot men in flight suits…

The Wongstar is a total sucker for men who can fly.  For example, superheroes.

Living the dream, yes indeed!

Hello, my name is White Tiger and I am FIERCE.

Well my Facebook and Twitter have been abuzz with my latest new sidekick, code name “White Tiger.”  When are we going to see real photos of this elusive White Tiger? everyone’s been asking.  Perhaps he doesn’t really exist!

Indeed it is true that according to Chinese mythology (aka Wikipedia), “Legend had it that when a tiger reached 500 years old, its tail would turn white. In this way, the white tiger became a kind of mythological creature.  It was said that the white tiger would only appear when the emperor ruled with absolute virtue, or if there was peace throughout the world…”

One of the Wongstar’s virtues?  World peace, of course. (Coincidentally, the answer to all beauty pangeant questions.)  The White Tiger is also a Chinese constellation that represents the west and the autumn season. And hey, I’m from the west and was born in the autumn!  How about that.  In Imperial China, the tiger was the personification of war, and one of the 12 Chinese zodiac animals.

I was quite happy with my 2006 P2C (code name “Blue Steel”) and also my short-lived 2009 P2C (code name “Khan the Warrior Horse”). My first two Cervelos took my Ironman bike splits down from a 6:12 down to a 5:35, then a 5:09, then a personal best 5:00.  That’s right.  I can honestly say “Riding a Cervelo took over an hour off my Ironman bike split.” Not too shabby, P2C’s!!

Apparently team management decided that I was now worthy of an upgrade!  Well I apologize for the technical difficulties; my blog has been so awesome that it sort of, er…broke…and haven’t been able to post pictures.  And it’s against my religion to write a blog without pictures.  I think I’ve finally figured out how to get around it.  In the meantime, it doesn’t hurt to build up a little suspense, now does it??

So this is why White Tiger shall be referred to as my faithful sidekick, and not my true love.

Thank you Cervelo and the Bike Boutique!!!  Special thanks to the TBB mechanics who helped assemble White Tiger just in time for V-day & Chinese New Year!  We’ve already gone on a few rides… the verdict?  The Dynamic Duo (Wongstar + White Tiger) are screaming fast and super aerodynamic!  I’m forecasting that the Year of the Tiger will see even faster bike splits.  :D

As promised, whatever happened to the dating shenanigans? Well surely that was a fun experiment, but now I’m back at training camp and focused on the only boyfriend that counts…to be introduced to you very shortly…

So in the span of 19 days in January, I went on 7 actual dates with the 4 eligible bachelors who passed my rather vigorous online screening process. They came in a variety of flavors (Chinese, Cuban, and two varieties of vanilla–one being ex-Moron/ex-vegan). Heights ranged from 5′11″ to 6′3″–believe it or not, my favorite one was the shortest. See! I’m not such a height snob. Dates varied from a $130 basketball game (2 X $65 tickets which I found an insane amount for the guy to spend on a first date, not that I complained) to a touristy stroll on the Golden Gate Bridge ($2 in quarters for the parking meter).

Fascinatingly enough, my screening process was so successful that 3 of the 4 guys had all founded and ran their own companies (at the strapping young ages of 26, 31, and 32). Apparently I seem to attract guys who are also ambitious and pursuing their dreams. However, I did let one slip through the cracks…the 36yo currently unemployed former professional triathlete. (Big mistake. I should’ve known better.)

As an upcoming international triathlon superstar on the dating circuit, one contemplates various questions as she gets to know these bachelors…

1. When do I tell him I’m a pro triathlete?
2. How many showers does it take to wash off the chlorine stink after marinating in the pool for 3-4 hours earlier that day?
3. When do I tell him I live with my parents?
4. When do I tell him I’m leaving the country?
5. When do I tell him I actually live overseas at least 6 months of the year? (last year was 7…)

Let’s start with question #1…when do I tell him what my actual job is? Well some of you wonder why that might be a problem, and indeed it used to be my favorite pick-up line at bars when I first got my pro card. Then I soon realized that as intriguing as it is to say “hey baby, I’m a pro triathlete,” it also tends to scare boys off. Somehow it sends this message:

Or as one of my guy friends has told me “You might as well cut their balls off.” Yes, I am one intimidating girl. Just like Kung Fu Panda, guys are afraid they might go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness.

During the screening process, there was one candidate who wanted to initiate an online chat. Unfortunately I realized too late that my GoogleTalk had been set ages ago with my blog URL as its status. After some hello’s and mostly silence on his side, he finally eeps out, ”I’m reading your blog right now…”  ”…damn you are intense…”  ”…I need to spend some time reading this.” After having access to the wealth of information on me, he refused to tell me much about himself (oh! that’s fair), and so…no first date. Must suck getting your balls cut off.

For the boys I actually met in person, I tried a few tactics. A couple of them I told before we met in person. (and they still wanted to go out with me? Score!) On one first date, I tried not to mention the pro thing…but then I felt deceptive and there were some awkward silences that needed to be filled. The last one I just told right away when he asked me in person…”So, what do you do?”

In the end, I realized it didn’t matter because, dammit, I am just so damn Google-able that you don’t even need to know what my name is to find me on the internet. Great for marketing yourself as a pro triathlete, not so great when trying to stay relatively anonymous when meeting new boys to date. There was the one bachelor who I later learned had Googled me 2 weeks before we actually met. Before he even knew my name. Apparently if you search for “5′9″ triathlete pacifica california” and then hit “I’m Feeling Lucky”, you go straight to my profile on theWongstar.com. (Remember the dating sites have you list your height and current city.) Thank you Google Analytics…I’m still not sure if I should be creeped out or flattered.

I actually asked one of the guys I got to know if he had ever Googled me, obviously it’s a problem.  He said one of the sweetest things… ”No, why would I Google you? Then we would have nothing to talk about.” THANK YOU!! Yes, I realize I have quite the online presence, but I would prefer new boys not to have preconceived notions when they barely know me. Believe it or not, the Wongstar online persona is only a part of who I really am.

Question #2: How many showers? Well, that nice swim block in January had some overlap with this nice dating block. Indeed, it was always at least 2 showers and extra vigorous scrubbing to try to get the chlorine marinade off my skin on swim days/date nights. Girls should smell like flowers and peaches, not like nasty pool chemicals. Although I did have a guy friend (former college swimmer) tell me he kind of likes the swimming pool smell. Yeah well, too bad that’s probably more of the exception than the rule!

Question #3, living with the parents… Actually questions #3-4-5 didn’t seem to matter if it was obvious there would be no second date. In fact, I found it rather useful to mention when trying to escape a really bad date. For example, the unemployed ex-pro triathlete who made me buy my own hot chocolate, and then asked if I was ready to make out with him.  While we were still in Starbucks. Then asked how my libido was like when I was training so much. Then asked if I wanted to come up to his place to “watch a movie.” Good thing he knew I lived with the parentals, gosh look at the time, I had to get up *really* early to train. And at 45 minutes, that was the shortest date I’ve ever been on. There, done, BYE.

Otherwise, pro or not, there’s not too much shame being a 28yo Asian girl living with her parents in the San Francisco Bay Area. First of all, it’s super expensive living there. You save boatloads of money and it’s just smart (especially when you are only in the USA half the year). Secondly, in our culture it is completely acceptable to live at home until you get married. This is what I tell myself anyway. And if the guy understands the concept of making sacrifices in pursuit of “living the dream,” then that’s the kind of guy for me.

Only two made it past the first date. I learned that you can actually get a feel for a person through email before meeting them. Like the guy who kept mentioning kids and babies. (No first date.) Or if they’re kinda boring via email, they’re kinda boring in person. If they’re a bit too forward via email then you shouldn’t bother meeting them for a 45-minute non-date. Sometimes you meet people who are cute, and really nice, and you get along all right and try really hard to like them THAT WAY…but there’s just no chemistry. You can usually tell right away if you like them or not. If you’re not sure, well you probably don’t.

Then there was the one who actually made it to the third date. He was the only one that I told I was leaving, the others either found out via Google or didn’t really care. And then…I got on an airplane and left the country 24 hours later. C’est la vie. Dating is a little complicated with this pro triathlete lifestyle. (My FB relationship status should be permanently set on “it’s complicated”.) I try not to leave too many smashed-up broken hearts in my wake (including my own) but what’s a triathlon superstar to do? True love is out there for the Wongstar, and she holds out hope that she will find it someday.

(Hilarious comics are from Angry Little Girls by Lela Lee.  She also makes bags and shirts with the potty-mouthed little Asian girl.)

Happy Valentine’s Day, I hope you get some!!