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Jodie Swallow's Blog


tbb playlist answers

March 31st, 2011 by jodieswallow

The answers…no offence meant…well a little maybe ;) x

Animal                                                 Neon Trees       

Scotty-because he is ;)

Better to lie                                        Cheryl Cole        

Not that Bek lies but the pink concert fiasco last year was a pretty big white lie mess ;) , don’t  be offended gorgeous x

 ‘I do not hook up’                            Kelly Clarkson

Emma…because she’s looking for ‘the one’ ;)

 Still a weirdo                                       KT Tunstall

Christian because you didn’t say anything to disprove this hypothesis

 ‘Knock em out’                                 Lily Allen

Me, because the lyrics to this song are totally where I’m at

 Stole                                                      Kelly Rowland

Amy Marsh-she steals your water bottle when you have pushed off-watch her!

 Life as a fish                                        N.E.R.D

 James because he has to learn to love life as a fish ;) x

 Good girl gone bad                          Rihanna

Taco- Phuket enough said missy ;)

 Dirty Diana                                          Michael Jackson

Diana – c’mon there must be some dirt out there

Caught out there                             Kelis

Bek – after the pink concert (s) !! xx

Steal my kisses                                  Ben Harper

This song reminds me of Bek because some guy she was dating once told her that this song should have been written about them… wonder why he had to steal his kisses,! haha

Beautiful monster                           Ne-yo

The Princess that is Xena

 I need a girl part 1                            P Diddy

Sorry Scotty…..

 I need a girl part 2                            P Diddy

Ummm…sorry babe ;) xx

 Split personality                                Pink

Me-because I have one

  Gypsy                                                   Shakira

Emma and her caravan loving ways

  Painkiller                                              Turin Brakes

Me,  Nicola, Flick, Bek, Aaron….anyone else out there on the voltaren 100mg??!!

 Sexy Bitch                                           David Guetta

All us fast girlies…take ur pick ;)

Fading                                                   Rihanna

Dellow I know this is cruel but it is kind of true given your first 3km in Singapore ;)

 Daniel                                                   Elton John

Oh cmon…

 Blowin me up (with her love)     JC Chasez

Also Dan because you kind of blew in Singapore….sorry mate x

 Home                                                    Michael Buble

Me and seemingly everybody else today!!

The Flood                                            Cheryl Cole

Krabi in general

 King and queen                                    John Legend

Mr and Mrs Hug…triathlon royalty and honorary TBB guests

  Do it like a dude                                 Jesse J

Nic on the track, Zena on the bike and me in the pool ;)

 Insane                                                  Eminem

Brett xx

 Must be the ganja                           Eminem

AJ….haha – he won’t mind ;)

 Teenage Dream                                Katy Perry

Swiss Boy

 American Boy                                    Estelle

Brandon Slow Drawl Marsh

 Fighter                                                  Christina Aguilera

Nicola whose had lots of crap to put up with but will still be giving it some come London 2012 x

 Diirty                                                     Christina Aguilera

Flick- babe only because of that skype comment that shocked everybody, not really, hihi            

 My Hero                                              Foo Fighters

James x

Ridin Solo                                            Jason Derulo

Aaron cos he starts off like Chris Boardman

On a Mission                                      Gabriella Climi

MBE…gritty till the end

 Born to Be Wild                                 INXS

Evidently Stephen Bayliss….get some beers in that boy ;)


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playlist for tbb

March 31st, 2011 by jodieswallow

So I bought an album on iTunes called ‘Songs for Japan’.  It’s awesome and it got my music producer brain into process.  This is the new album from Team TBB, recorded in Krabi (well at least assimilated in Krabi) – licensed to me and my opinions…Match the song to a team member  hihi ;)

See if you can guess their Muses…..Answers and explanations will be posted as my next blog.  A couple of people feature more than once…mainly because they are too easy to take the piss out of ;) J xx

1)      Animal                                                 Neon Trees       

2)      Better to lie                                        Cheryl Cole        

3)      ‘I do not hook up’                           Kelly Clarkson

4)      Still a weirdo                                     KT Tunstall

5)      ‘Knock em out’                                 Lily Allen

6)      Stole                                                     Kelly Rowland

7)      Life as a fish                                       N.E.R.D

8)      Good girl gone bad                          Rihanna

9)      Dirty Diana                                         Michael Jackson

10)   Caught out there                              Kelis

11)   Steal my kisses                                   Ben Harper

12)   Beautiful monster                            Ne-yo

13)   I need a girl part 1                            P Diddy

14)   I need a girl part 2                            P Diddy

15)   Split personality                               Pink

16)   Gypsy                                                    Shakira

17)   Painkiller                                             Turin Brakes

18)   Sexy Bitch                                           David Guetta

19)   Fading                                                   Rihanna

20)   Daniel                                                   Elton John

21)   Blowin me up (with her love)     JC Chasez

22)   Home                                                    Michael Buble

23)   The Flood                                           Cheryl Cole

24)   King and queen                                John Legend

25)   Do it like a dude                               Jesse J

26)   Insane                                                 Eminem

27)   Must be the ganja                          Eminem

28)   Teenage Dream                               Katy Perry

29)   American Boy                                 Estelle

30)   Fighter                                               Christina Aguilera

31)   Diirty                                                    Christina Aguilera            

32)   My Hero                                              Foo Fighters

33)   Ridin Solo                                           Jason Derulo

34)   On a Mission                                     Gabriella Climi

35)   Born to Be Wild                                INXS

J xx

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The Swallows

March 27th, 2011 by jodieswallow

I often get told that I’m very lucky to be so talented at triathlon so I thought I’d introduce you to my family and the genetics that make me.  I am the naked one ;)

My Dad -Peter Swallow- is a 64 school teacher from Barnsley. Everybody knows that Yorkshire men are hard bastards and I used to be a little scared of my Dad. His nickname as a PE teacher in Dagenham was ‘Skeletor’, the evil one from He-man but as you can see from his photo he was more of a Baywatch hero in his younger years. I used to meet his students in nightclubs in Essex and even in the haunts of Ayia Napa….needless to say they soon stopped their chat ups when they found out who Dad was….they even thought Dad was following them when they would see his car outside Hollywoods at 2am. Really dad was picking me up because he is the kindest, most generous dad in the world. Completely.

Dad was a proper all rounder athletically. I am lucky to have inherited his 8 litre lungs and not to have damaged mine at all. I developed a cigarette smoke phobia when my granddad died of smoking when I was 6. I have never even touched the paper of a cigarette in my life. I am straight up and down like Dad and I like liquorice allsorts just like my dad. He is the best dad and one of the most moral people I know in the world.

My Mum- Janis Swallow- is a pocket, rocket, and dynamo. She has been described as ‘Milf’ (yuk, yuk, yuk), but mostly she is incredibly tough and determined- if a little wacky. Mum is a head of science at a secondary school but mostly she has the kindest, most loyal heart in the world. She would fight to the death on my behalf.

She goes swimming before school, runs after school and drags Dad around 4 hour bike rides every weekend. Now she has manipulated the holidays into training camps too. Two hip resurfaces didn’t stop mum. Sometimes I can’t watch her run because I hate to see her sticking out the pain her legs can cause her….I may prescribe her 100mg voltaren ;) . Mum is the best and I get my toughness from her.

My sister Joanna is two years older than me. She is probably the reason why I am so competitive. I swam before school when I was seven- even though you had to be nine. I started weights when I was 11- even though you had to be 13. We both boycotted shot and long jump to run round the track when we were 12 together…..without her I’d be normal. Joanna trains damn hard to this day…probably not as hard as me but that point could be argued. It was all in, all the time. She came 10th at National X-Country and was Essex X-Country Champ until I came along. She got to National Age Group swim finals too. She did an Ironman last year on limited training and did 10hours 30….she won -of course. She is a doctor and lives in Bath. She is always on the go, is very independent and is more stable than me. She was always the quiet one whilst I had all the popular friends. Now she is the popular one and I get shy around people. She has truly blossomed and I am very proud of her as she is of me, I think. I miss her lots; all my teammates would love Joanna.

There we are and that is why I’m such a poser ;) !

j x

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triathlon lessons

March 24th, 2011 by jodieswallow

Things I have learnt this month:-

  • I have had a bone bruise in my heel since last year. I bashed it on a standing platform here in Krabi back in October and have been running on it ever since….it has been sore.
  • Nicola’s heel is perfectly healthy …they scanned her heel even though she has a sore shin….but we are pleased to know ‘everything in her heel is normal’??!!-our trip to Phuket MRI was pretty out there ;)
  • I am ‘too young to have a heel spur’.  Brett, however, ‘very much could have a heel spur’ (even though he only has a sore tooth) ??!!-again a useful conclusion by Dr MRI ;)
  • Not everybody would have toughed out a bone bruise so although I’m damaged – I’m still tough.
  • I am severely lacking in basic common sense skills on my bike…I have this thing where I have to balance on tip toes on my saddle at lights….never really realised that before.
  • I’m a bit of a city girl…. I need shops at least once a week.
  • Ninja warrior is the best TV show in the world.
  • I love my Avia bolts.
  • I should have watched the Lion King years ago.
  • I am really like weighted step ups.
  • Coconuts grow on palm trees……not melons.
  • Money is not my motivation in life but I would like to be able to live in a house right on the beach.
  • Two of my top ten people in the world are my TBB teammates and that is a very special privilege.


  • Al Gore would have done a better job than Bush…courtesy of James’s love of ‘The inconvenient truth’. 
  • Al Gore however uses a damn lot of electricity in his mansion after all his harping on. (according to Scotty)
  • I am a Thai dog Nazi.
  • Sometimes it is better to plan a not finish in one race than not be able to start five others.
  • I can be sensible and do what Brett tells me.
  • Voltaren 100mg rocks.
  • People actually think pro triathletes earn a lot of money.
  • WTC charge a lot of money for age groupers to race but pay professionals hardly any of this amount….demonstrated by the 1600 x  $300 entry fees and the prize purse of wait for it….$3000 for the winner.
  • My friends are superstars.

  • However strong I get on the bike it remains 40% easier to sit on my wheel.
  • It’s difficult to paddle a canoe with three girls in it with only one paddle.


  • I like Singapore slings.
  • How brave the Japanese people are, when life is so cruel.
  • To be good at something you have to love it….or learn to love it.  If there is no passion then you will never reach your potential.
  • I ‘push my junk to the side when I ride’…thanks Dan for teaching me that.
  • Doing IM helps your Frontcrawl.
  • Often champions are weirdos but because they are weirdos they are often vulnerable.
  • You can get homesick even when you don’t really have a home.
  • I would like to win an ironman.
  • I write random blogs when I am in strange moods.


J xx

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Danke Africa

February 24th, 2011 by jodieswallow

So my African adventure is over :( .  During our last week James and I were lucky enough to get hold of U2 360 degree tour tickets.  If anyone has seen the Slane castle U2 tour DVD you will understand my excitement surrounding this day out.  Actually I get pretty excited about any day out these days; my cage gets claustrophobic sometimes ;)

Our adventure started with a drive to Cape Town.  Since James lent me his car and I gave multiple drivers the finger he seems to find ways to stop me driving.  It does have his name plastered over the side of it, so I kind of understand.  I understand less, why it’s necessary to beep me 0.1 secs after the light turns green, whilst I’m busy fixing my mascara ;) -bite me! Hihi.

So James drove the whole way and I slept and was Dj…An ace Dj at that.  Franshoek, where James’s parents live is possibly the most beautiful place in the world.  Surrounded by wine farms, mountains and beautiful 1900 villas it is difficult to imagine why you would want to live anywhere else.  I judge places on my standard of sleep and here the wind hummed through the windows, the crickets chirped merrily and the stars shone bright.  It was pure.

The U2 concert was also pure.  Pure class.  Amazing, brilliant, unique.  Bono followed us back to Franshoek for lunch on Sunday but we were otherwise occupied :)

So my Asian adventure can now begin.  As the team steadily arrive I get more and more in mode.   It’s always entertaining getting to know and re-know everyone’s little ways and personalities in and out of training.  I love to chat but as soon as tri talk begins away from the training I shut up – a sure fire way to get me outta there (hint to my training partners).   If you have the energy to talk shit after training you weren’t exhausting your resources in training.  Shopping however is the opposite and should be discussed before, during and after the main event- at any opportunity.

Anyway my next blog will be a ‘what’s to know about bike travel and fees’ there will  probably be a whole load of moaning about airline policy but today I’m happy and won’t be moaning.  I will say however I felt like I was in a movie script after the events in Cape Town airport and now have a very strong opinion on corruption in politics and how it influences corruption in society, blimey-did I just write that?

Downtime in South Africa

Closing thank you to all the amazing people I have been lucky enough to meet in South Africa.  Jason Cunnama you were the most gorgeous host ever, the rest of the Cunnamas, Colin, Richard, Glynis, Alexa, Kelly and Blain, and everyone else ..Cheers J  and African elephants are way better than Indian ones…xx

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