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Thai Massage « Kate Pallardy's Blog


Thai Massage

Walking towards my massage I see angelically written on the little shops front massage for everyday people. It seemed so innocent and gentle. So, I politely slipped off my sandals and walked inside and asked for a basic Thai massage. The lady nods and points me to the bed where she draws the curtains around me and I assume that means time to get into my birthday suit. I start whipping off my clothes stripper style and she runs in saying, “No!no.no.” Oh dear. Probably gave her much more of show then she bargained for. I throw back on my shirt then she tosses me some oversized maroon clown bottoms and I think panties or no panties?…I went with a naked bum simply to feel more at home.

The massage started off gentle enough for the first 3 minutes. I thought how nice and soothing but not for long as ‘Strong Hands Magee’ went at my muscles with the wrath of an angry bull. I attempted to take the pain but I broke down and asked for more soft, more soft. That worked for 30seconds then back to the grinding. So, I winced and told myself this is good for me. Of course, right when I thought this is good she grabs my hands, kneels on my calves and pulls my body off the bed 1-2-3-4 times. I couldn’t take it anymore and completely broke down in a fit of giggles. How ridiculous was this? The lady didn’t even pause with my laughter she went right on hammering away then flipped me over like a jello sandwich and wrenched my quads and IT band until blood came out of my eyes. She would smile at my wincing as if someone told her I see beautiful little bunnies everytime I wince in pain.

And just when I thought I experienced the worst…all of a sudden her foot was jammed into my hamstring with legs folded like a pretzel and circulation denied to my most valuable body parts—this all made for a giggle fit #2 which my massage monster lady (who I adore) also joined in. There we are two of us laughing but she obviously doesn’t take a break in action and continually gnashes away at my little broken body.

I still don’t exactly know what happened and feel slightly abused and maybe slightly injured but in a weird sort of way, I think I truly enjoyed it and maybe even loved it.

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